


car radio

by stqrryniqhts



Series: too close to the stars [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, Car Radio, F/M, Hurt Peter Parker, Kid Peter Parker, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stqrryniqhts/pseuds/stqrryniqhts
Summary: ...and now I just sit in silence.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: too close to the stars [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1364332
Kudos: 41





	car radio

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning  
> references to panic attacks, depression, and maybe disassociation?  
> -  
> listen to the song while reading for the full effect :)  
> "car radio" by twenty-one pilots

Peter's headphones are missing.

He can hear whispers and laughs from the end of the hall in this long corridor, his thoughts getting interrupted constantly. No matter what he tries to distract himself with, nothing is working.

His fingernails dig into his palms painfully as he swiftly turns, avoiding his friends at their lockers. He can't think straight without his headphones, the ADD he was diagnosed with as a kid creeping up on him. The spider bite cured his physical needs, but it didn't cover the mental illnesses of his like he hoped.

The first thing he notices is the color blue. Blue. It's like the ocean, but sometimes the ocean can be black. Or red. Sharks don't eat humans often, but sometimes tragedy strikes.

Is he a tragedy? Is he a tragedy just waiting to happen?

His second thought is about his palms. What would Tony say about this?

It's all because of those headphones that he lost or someone stole.

 _Shove_.

Peter's eyes follow the girl who just nudged him until she is no longer in sight. Did the bell ring?

Bathrooms. He has to find the bathrooms and call Tony.

Peter hurries into a stall and shuts the door, tapping the emergency button on his StarkWatch.

Tony answers on the second ring. "Peter? What's wrong?" He sounds concerned, but exhausted.

"Everything, e-everything is wrong, Tony, everything is too loud." Peter's voice wavers, the ocean of tears building up in his gentle hazel eyes. "I can't focus- I can't think, Tony, _please_ , I want to go _home_." The kid's voice cracks as he finally lets the tears win.

The small sobs break Tony's heart as if he was made of glass.

"Hey, Pete," Tony calls Happy and gets the car, "it'll be ok, I'm on my way there."

-

Tony signs Peter out from the front office and they head out to the car fifteen minutes later, tears still dripping from the boy's eyes like the remnants of a broken heart. Peter knows that it wasn't just him losing his headphones, the sensory overload or his ADD. It was something more than that, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to admit to it.

He would later.

Tony opens the door for Peter and the small boy slips in, feeling exhausted.

They sit in silence for a while, and it drives Peter crazy. He hates the silence so much. It was silent at his parents' funeral, at his uncle's funeral, and recently his aunt May's funeral. Wherever there was silence there was overthinking, and where there is overthinking, a broken heart follows along.

Finally, Tony breaks it. "What happened?"

"I..."

Should he confess? Should he tell Tony about his darkness? The way he tears himself down every night, and cries until his lungs hurt?

 _No_.

He bites his lip, as if thinking about his answer. "I don't know." Peter finally mumbles.

"Peter, you can tell me anything, you know that right?" Tony says gently, trying to get his boy to open up.

The burning sensation of his tears return, and the bile down his throat gets swallowed. Peter nods, trying to hold it in.

"I don't like the silence." The boy whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. "Silence... it makes me think about things. Things that I know I shouldn't."

"What do you think about?"

"Everything." Peter's voice gets louder, and he turns to his dad. "I think about _everything,_ Tony. From my terrifying nightmares to how fucking _lonely_ everyone is." He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as a tear slips down his cheek. "It's not fair."

Peter looks up, "Music is my only escape, and if I don't have that... I think too deeply."

"Someone stole my headphones."

**Author's Note:**

> I am trying to get back into the habit of writing since that seasonal depression is really starting to kick in lol,, so sorry if all my fics are sad :(  
> thank you for reading!  
> EDIT: i'm rereading this right now and it makes no sense hahahhahahhahah


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